I look in the mirror and I know what I THINK of myself. I know how I FEEL on that particular day. But there is also something that I often do not see – myself!
I have a friend – a priest. He is the most gentle and kind-hearted person I’ve ever met in my life. His love and admiration of people are tremendous and unconditional. Since I’m lucky enough to be a part of his life, I often have an opportunity to hear very touching compliments from him:
– I’d like to tell you how beautiful you are but in such a way as to make you feel it too
-Well, that’s simple: You’ll say it and I’ll check it in the mirror
-It won’t work because you are NEVER able to see yourself when looking in the mirror. What you’re going to see at best is your reflection, which is the inversion of what I see. You won’t see what I see. Instead, I’m going to keep telling you what I see as long as necessary in order for you to feel it and believe it
Priest Staszek is one of the people thanks to whom I get to know the better side of myself. I’m a big fan of words, but even a bigger one of non-words. It is more difficult to deceive with a painting, because you don’t know exactly how to do it. A painting allows you to see what others see in you.
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Me in the eyes of Kasia
I love this painting – it was my birthday gift from Kasia Sz. Prior to receiving it I had no idea that she paints. I also had not known that she likes me enough to make an effort to paint a picture of me. A painting is much better than the photograph it was based on, which pictures me far more aggressive than I really am. Softening and beautification – this is what I feel when I see how Kasia sees me.
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Me in the eyes of Justyna
I was a bit nazi in my company with regard to the issue of green colour – it is the colour of our brand and everyone likes it, more or less, but it’s obvious that no one loves it as much as I do. When I saw the drawings done by my girls for the two videos about me, I saw their care for things that are important to me.
-We have 3 Julias here. Which one do you like the most? I know you might not notice the differences, so I’m going to tell you how they differ right away: that one has black glasses (I noticed that) and these ones differ in the skirt length (I thought they differed in leg length)
They were the most meticulous with regard to drawing the eyeglasses, since they know that it is a problem for me. All the three Julias were pretty, but the one with green glasses was the best.
-Just make sure that Julia is not fat
-None of the Julias is fat, don’t worry!
Julia in the eyes of Tomek
Tomek uses a wheelchair to get around. It is of no significance to our relationship, but I think it is for others and I’m under the impression that it contributes to his exceptional awareness and wariness towards other people.
I don’t want anyone to pity me and see me as some kind of earthworm. I’m not an earthworm and I don’t want to become one. I’m a horse, a wild horse, not some earthworm
Tomek sent me his first drawing immediately after we got acquainted.
I had a feeling that he sees in me much more than I see in myself.
On his drawings I think I look braver and more decisive than I really am. I told him once that I wanted to buy green kickboxing gloves but couldn’t find them anywhere. He immediately drew the image of me looking for green gloves and initiated a Facebook quest for a pair of green gloves for me. He acts quick.
I look at his pictures and they remind me that I’m also born to act quickly – to be a wild horse, not an earthworm.
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In the eyes of a friend
I said once that I’d love to be a mermaid. If I could be anyone else, I’d definitely want to live peacefully in a sea, play with fish and watch and listen to the waves. I love diving. I love to be suspended in solitude. I love silence and NOT running. And yet I have the feeling that I’m constantly on the run, looking for something. I always lack time for conscious being – existing just like that without the feeling that I have to run somewhere else. I’d love to be a mermaid so that I could do without a clock and be able to decide what to do, when, with whom and in what amount. I’d love to just consciously be.
-You’re doing exactly that in your life
-Really? A mermaid doesn’t have to go to Mordor (business district in Warsaw) and has this kind of nostalgia and romantic nature that I lack on average day
And this is what I received as a proof that I’m a mermaid. Sometimes we want to be somebody who we already are. And we really need someone to show it to us. In this case – literally.
Surely, a mermaid also has some professional duties but finds enough time to go where she likes – and sometimes she even finds enough time to go there for 4 months. And she has been doing that for 5 years
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In the eyes of prince charming
-I love this picture (Tosia – you’re the best – I love it too). I see on it my fleeting moments of joy and there is no face, expression, voice or words there – only pure emotions. I received a picture like that a while ago
-And I like this picture of you because I think it reflects perfectly your princessly nature
A princess is even better than a mermaid (if I can’t be a mermaid, so be it :).. I’ll gladly accept a crown). It’s good that someone thinks of me like that because I already forgot to dream about it. It’s wonderful that you don’t have to be 7 years old in order to feel like a princess again. And it’s even better if someone sees you a princess. Someone, who is not 7 years old either.
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In the eyes of a true Friend
My blog is mainly about changes – those that occur in me. They are often triggered by pain – sometimes not due to someone being a torturer, but because I have too many soft spots: some comment offended me, someone’s stare stung me – it doesn’t have to be anything big, just somebody stepping on an ancient toe of mine, opening old wounds, fueling a fire or stirring my insecurities. After a series of my texts about getting over the criticism of my style of clothing, make-up and hair I received a gift – the most beautiful me.
I don’t understand how people can criticize in you exactly what I love so much! I love your tousled hair, the lines you paint under your eyes, your big glasses and eternally green clothes. Don’t let anybody convince you that you need to change it – because you DON’T. I love it!
And so I started loving it too.
